Interest topic of conversation on Facebook today:

Should Registered Sex-Offenders Be Allowed On Facebook?
(polls)

What do you think?

- Emma

I’ve missed a few days, I’m sorry. Things have been so hectic lately! On Saturday night, we had a friends 50th, which wasn’t as bad as I expected. He has two daughters, who are 16 and 18, and complete snobs. If they were anymore up themselves they’d be able to see out of their mouths. Anyway, it wasn’t my choice of a Saturday night, but it wasn’t terrible.

Sunday is probably my reason for this new post. We went out to breakfast at this beautiful place called ‘Cloudehill’ in the Dandenong Ranges.

We met my grandfather & his partner there. The breakfast had been pre-arranged for about three weeks, but Sunday was not a good day for my Grandpa. He has stomach cancer. He’s known about it since June, but had obviously had it a lot longer. On Sunday, he was having trouble eating, and was in a lot of pain. To his credit, he managed to have an egg on toast & a coffee & had a nice photo taken with my mum.

Yesterday he received a letter from his Oncologist. My Grandpa had asked him to write out exactly what was happening to him, as he didn’t fully understand, and that way, he could tell his family what was going on.

A piece of paper which has been scribbled on, used for taking notes whilst on the phone, is possibly the piece of paper that will be kept for a long time after he has passed away. This is the same letter that my Grandpa received in the mail.

Now, imagine this – you’re told that you have cancer, and only a short amount of time to live. You are 83 years old, confused, and frightened. You ask your doctor, the person who’s holding your life in their hands, to write a letter, explaining what is happening to you, so that you can tell your family. A few weeks later, you open your envelope, and find.. that.

I am absolutely sickened.

For now,

Emma x

I’m in the middle of writing a letter to my cousin. She’s been in hospital for over a week now, & has today been told that she’s being put into the Eating Disorder Unit.

If people ask you to describe Sam, the first thing that one is likely to say is “She’s anorexic”. The sad thing is, they don’t take the time to see the person within. They see an anorexic. They see someone who is sick. They see someone who doesn’t look “normal”, so they stare. They don’t care that their eyes are crushing her, making it hard for her to breathe. They just… stare.

I’m too frustrated to write any more. Here is what I wrote to her. Maybe one day it will sink in.

Night guys x

Hi beautiful,

I got your message you left in chat, I’m sorry I didn’t reply then & there, I had left facebook on while we went out.. as I tend to do alot :S
I know you don’t want to be in there. I wanted out after one day when I was in a few weeks ago, so I can’t begin to imagine how you’re feeling. I do want to say how proud I am of you – if it was me, I’d be climbing the walls after a day (and I pretty much was!) and you’ve only just spoken up now! Not only that, your Mum, when she was over here, was telling me how amazingly well you’re doing, and you’re already up to plan 4! She is so proud of you, I don’t know how much she shows you, or how much you realise it, but Sam, she had such a smile on her face – one that reached her eyes – when she was talking about you.

You are doing such a fantastic job in there Sam. We dont want to loose you. I don’t think any of us realised how sick you were when you went into hospital that night, but when your mum was telling us about your potassium and everything, my stomach absolutely turned. You are such a star in this family, and you’re one of my best friends. I dont want to loose you. I can talk (and have talked) to you about so many things that I have never told anyone, and wouldn’t feel comfortable talking to anyone else about, because I know you care! Well, it’s the same for me. As much as you hate it, you need to be in there babe. It can’t be easy on you, much harder than you’re probably letting on. You’re such a beautiful, talented young lady, & you’ve been put through hard times for far too long. It’s time you are allowed to spread your wings (which you’re already starting to do, what with your nannying, tutoring!) and fly my girl. You deserve the best in this world, because of nothing more than the fact that you’re you! You’re Sam. You love gelato. You are a great writer. You have a patience for things, such as puzzles, that some people only dream of. Children adore you. People put their trust in you to tutor their children – which, might I add, has nothing to do with ‘how you look’. They see who’s within, & I’m lucky enough to call her my cousin.

I know you don’t want visitors & I get that (I was never offended, don’t worry ) but if you change your mind, (and I dont care if you dont!! Relax lol) you know I’m only too keen to come watch a marathon of Full House or do a book of crosswords with you. If not, you can catch me on facebook, I’ll be here (I’ll turn chat off if I leave the comp, promise ).

Very proud of you hun. Keep up the amazing work, and I’ll talk to you soon xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo All my love always to you xx

A friend came over today, and she was trying to write the eulogy for a friend of hers, who passed away a few days ago. She was writing something she called a “Remember List”. I thought it was a beautiful idea, & wanted to write one of my own. So..

Remember the time we went on a Treasure Hunt through the Dandenongs?

Remember when you used the green cleaning cloth as a hat?

Remember the time we went to the football, & I accidentally yelled out “Go Hot Pies”?

Remember when I gave you that DVD for your 21st, and you cried?

Remember when we used to live for each others hugs?

Remember when the biggest drama in our lives was who got to sit next to who on the bus?

Remember when Princess Diana died & we were so affected, even though we barely knew anything about her?

Remember the time you came with me to a Halloween party and you got smacked in the head by the pinata stick?

Remember those sleep overs when I used to be scared, so you let me get into bed beside you?

Remember when Laura died, you made me come over and then took me in your arms for so long?

Remember how we used to love your made up games?

Remember how you hated all of my friends in high school?

Remember the time you came to my violin concert and fell of your seat?

Remember when your niece was born and we sat together looking at the magic?

Remember how we always classified each other as our best friends?

Remember the first boyfriend you broke up with?

Remember when we used to have fun together?

I really hope you do… I love you both so very much & miss you every day.

~ Emma x

I have a question for you – what is the price of friendship? At what point do you decide that you are capable of cutting your friends from your life? What would cause you to do this?

An old friend of mine from school had done just this. I lost contact with her after school finished, but was kept up to date with her drama’s through mutual friends. In the four years since we left school, she had a nervous breakdown (alleged), was raped twice (also alleged), was engaged, had two phantom pregnancies & was a witness in a murder trial (extremely alleged..).

This was the very reason that I initally broke contact with this particular person, as these drama’s had been continuous throughout our school years together. The last I heard about her, was that she had moved in with her new boyfriend & completely cut off her family. Her parents had rung my house to see if I knew where she was, they were frantic. She ignored them, and her doting younger sister, for eight months.

Tonight, I received a friend request on Facebook. I accepted, thinking she may have, possibly, calmed down a bit. On talking to her for the first time in about three years, I hear that she’s broken up with her boyfriend, and moved back in with her parents. All positive steps.

And then I get this (completely unedited):

“yeah i left my boyfriend today and now i have to go to court because he wont give me my stuff back and yeah i was pretty much cut off from the world i wasnt aloud to talk to anyone not even jess because he thought that she was a bad person and all kinds of shit im just so happy to be out of that relationship it just sucks that i have to go to court for my stuff im just i cant even put into words free a guess its been almost like i’ve been in jail and cut off from the whole world dont get me wrong i was happy but i was sad and depressed more offen than happy it wasnt a good mix we where way to alike any way enough about me how are you”

I didn’t respond.

What really pissed me off was her status update:

I am single again people and i’ve moved back home so please people i need my friends back please

Now, during the time she was with her boyfriend, she made no attempt to contact anyone. She says that she “wasn’t allowed”, that she was “in a jail”. All of this, yet she was able to go out with other friends, the ones who supplied her with ice and speed. The ones who offered her love and support, she didn’t need.

The message here folks?

Choose your friends wisely.

-Emma x

A few things in my world lately have made me ponder the meaning of life. I firmly believe that each and every one of us are here for a specific purpose. Our purpose in life may be things we don’t even think of, or consider important. It may be important to somebody else, and therefore, our purpose is fulfilled.

My cousin passed away at the age of 21. She had never had a job, she was only just starting her Diploma in Children’s Services, and wasn’t the most popular girl in school. She was very quiet, but she loved to laugh. I think Laura’s purpose in life was to teach us that you need to go with the flow. Life has its struggles, its hardships. It isn’t always happy, and it isn’t always easy. You just need to do what you can to keep your head above water, and go for it. The choice will always come up against you – sink or swim? It’s having the strength and courage to swim, no matter what the circumstances, that shows us our capabilities. In Laura’s case, I believe she was here to teach us not to limit ourselves to our capabilities, but to rise above them.

My grandfather has stomach cancer. We learned yesterday that it has spread aggressively, and is now in his liver and blood. He is having trouble eating, which means that the tumour in his stomach has grown, & will eventually block his stomach opening.  He works on a school crossing – that is, he is a lollypop man. In March next year, he gets a bonus that he planned to retire on. In reality, he will be lucky to see Christmas.

Now, my grandfather has had an extrodinary life, and one that I am lucky enough to have a bit more knowledge about, after helping him with his life story. I always knew that my grandfather fought in World War 2, but I never had the respect for him that I do now. I have always respected and loved my grandfather very much, but hearing & reading about his role in the Battle of Okinawa, his time on The Indomitable aircraft carrier, and his life as a child growing up whilst Hitler was bombing Britain made me realise what an amazing life this man has lived.

He fought for his country when he was only 18. He travelled around the world with the Navy, and eventually landed in Sydney, Australia, where he met my grandmother. His parents died when he was 51 – he never saw them again after he left the UK. Together, my grandparents had six children, losing one at birth. Their children grew, and blessed them with eight grandchildren. My grandmother was killed in a motor vehicle accident 15 years ago, and my grandfather met his partner, Ellie, roughly ten years ago. He has been living with her ever since, and she has become family. He has always been in good health, yet now, at 83, his body is betraying him. If this cancer wasn’t growing inside of him, he would have continued working for many years to come, enjoying his life as he has been up until this point.

Now, it is a waiting game.

So, look at your family. Your loved ones, ones you have loved and lost. They all have lives, backgrounds, that mean something to them. Do they mean something to you?

~ Emma xx

Hi Guys,

I’ve been checking out a few blogs, finding out interesting things about strangers, when I came across one blog that caught my eye. It was a “Here’s to Happiness” list, naming your Top 10 things that make you the most happy. So, here we go!

Emma’s “Here’s to Happiness” List ‘09:

1.) Holidaying in Warrnambool

2.) Listening to my dog snore. She could crack windows.

3.) Spending quality time with my friends. No movies, no shopping. Just talking.

4.) Parties. Not the ‘lets get drunk and forget everything’ kind, the meaningful birthday celebration, wedding, christmas kind.

5.) Doing the puzzles in TV Week. Yeah, I admitted it.

6.) Making new friends, and reuniting with old ones.

7.) The Cheesecake Shop’s pecan pie. Drool much?

8.) Spending time with Hamish, my favourite little man.

9.) Live theatre shows. I love them all!

10.) Watching weird & wonderful videos on YouTube.

What makes you terribly happy? List your top 10 and let me know!

Love, Emma xx

This is just an easy way to keep friends & family (and anyone else who’s remotely interested!) informed about what’s going on in my life at the moment.

This blog will be random. It will be confusing. It will be exciting, boring, moving, thrilling and… so-so. Truth is, I don’t know where this will end up. I don’t know what I’ll write about. I know what’s in my head right now, but 99% of the time, that’s not what comes out. I guess we’ll just go with the flow and see what happens.

I guess for those who don’t know me too well, I should tell you a bit about myself..

Today, I ate this.

I went here..

..and I bought this:

(just the one on the right, though.)

At the moment, I feel like this..

..because it’s this:

I’m going here..

..to do this:

Goodnight!

xx Emma